Thursday, 21 May 2015

You know you're a Mum when... PART 2

Being a Mum - each day is a new discovery! Not only is Ella making new discoveries as a little person but I am making new discoveries about myself as a first time Mum.

After my last "You know you're a Mum when..." post I have continued to learn new things about myself and about Motherhood which I think other Mother's could relate to and perhaps find quite amusing so here is PART 2 of "You know you're a Mum when..."

19. You stand in your baby's nursery staring at them while they sleep, marvelling over the gorgeous creature you managed to create. Until... you're overwhelmed with love and affection, so you decide to bend over and kiss them on their cheek. When then start to stir, you silently shit yourself and stealthily hurry out of the room before the gorgeous creature awakes and ruins your precious alone time.

20. When your baby is finally asleep *hurrah* for the night you, literally, let out a huge sigh of relief! Let the alone time begin!   

21. When you finally have your alone time you face the daily struggle of "do I go to bed and catch up on sleep because I'm exhausted?" OR "do I stay up and have some much needed alone time?" Generally, the latter wins and you end up staying up WAY too late because you're enjoying alone time so very much. You instantly regret the decision in the morning and promise yourself you WILL go to bed early that night but end up doing the same DAMN thing all over again. It's a vicious cycle.

22. Alone time during daytime naps is just as much of a struggle of wills as it is at night. When your child eventually does have a nap, alone time becomes a battle of "do I do the mountains of washing and vacuum the carpet?" OR "do I finally try and get rid of the Mummy tummy by doing some much needed exercise?" OR better still "do I sit on my arse, eat some chocolate biscuits and watch T.V?". I don't need to tell you which option wins.

23. Breakfast becomes lunch, lunch becomes dinner and dinner disappears.

24. Having a shower becomes a luxury not a daily necessity. A luxury that doesn't happen as often as you would like!

I asked some of my favourite fellow Mumma's to hit me with some of their funniest "You know you're a Mum when..." quotes and I wasn't disappointed. They're downright hilarious and I can totally relate to most of these.

25. When you buy treats and eat them in hiding.

26. When throwing a towel over baby vomit in your bed and going back to sleep becomes totally acceptable. Same goes for wee and breast milk leakages.

27. When getting peed on is just part of everyday life.

28. Sniffing your baby's bottom, through the nappy, and then sticking your finger in the side to feel for poo becomes common practice.

29. When a nasal aspirator just doesn't do it and you end up sucking boogers out of another human's nose. *bleugh*

30. When you can use the baby puke in your hair to tame fly-aways.

31. When you realise the carpet designers of the 50's inadvertently created carpet patterns that could disguise any of your baby's bodily fluid.

32. When you realise, after the fact, that you made your morning coffee in baby's bottle. Then you sigh and drink it anyway.

33. When you are out of the house without your baby and you start swaying from side-to-side when you're waiting at the checkout. Same goes for when you start pushing the trolley back in forth like you would the pram.

34. When you realise you've had your boob hanging half out for the last hour - and you're walking around town.

35. When you finally get to go out for a girls night, you forget to pump and ended up lactating over a handsome young fella in a white t-shirt - leaving two big, round wet patches.

36. When you'd rather catch poo or spew in your hands then risk having to wash the floors all over again.

37. When you've managed to go all day with a yoghurt wrapper lid stuck in your hair. I'm talking a trip to the local four square, turning down Jehovah's at your door and talking to your workers kind of day.

38. When popping down to your local shops is like organising 007.

39. When you tell your partner that you're bursting for the loo when in actually fact you just really want some "me" time.

40. When 7am (or 8am) is considered a sleep in.

These are all such gold, I have so many more of these to share so I think I'm going to have to do a PART 3! I think , maybe, they all loved to get these off their chests - sort of a confession if you will.

Thank you lovely ladies you are all amazing - and you know who you are!

So, my dear readers - what can you relate or admit to?

Stay tuned for part 3!

No comments: