Sunday, 5 April 2015

Mummy shaming

Something I'd never heard of until I became a Mother is that of Mummy shaming. I'm seeing more and more examples of it everywhere and it's annoying the crap out of me.

For those of you who don't know what 'Mummy shaming' is, it's when one Mummy openly criticises or dismisses another Mummy for her parenting choices.

I'm involved in numerous baby related pages on Facebook and I keep hearing stories or reading posts of one Mum slating another for the choices she has made for her baby. I just don't get it. Why is it that we feel the need to criticise a Mother for doing what she thinks is best for her child? Why is it our business anyway?

Being a Mother is hard enough as it is and more often than not we are the worst for second guessing ourselves and our instincts. Having another Mother being smug or making snide remarks on how we parent our child adds to the ever present stress of parenting.

As I have said time and time again, we are ALL different and our babies are ALL different. What works for one may not work for another and just because I prefer one way over another does not make it wrong!

More often than not, I feel like the people that make these snap judgements have their own issues that they need to deal with but in order to make themselves feel better they cast judgments on other parents and parenting styles.

We have no right to judge a parent on their choices. What we see is only a small snapshot of a bigger picture. We don't know what that Mother is going through at the time and therefore have no right to judge her actions. For example, the Mother whose kids are running riot - she could be a single Mother struggling to get through each day on her own. The Mother who is formula feeding her child, she may have had serious complications after birth and therefore can't breastfeed. These are all just examples of a bigger picture however the point i'm making here is that, until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you have no right to make a snap judgement.

Next time you see something you don't agree with, stop and think before you you decide to judge. We all have our shit days so we should be supporting and encouraging each other, not passing judgement.

It's time we stopped Mummy shaming. Parenting is not a competition, it's simply making the choices we feel are best for the welfare our children.

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