Thursday, 9 April 2015

How my relationship changed the day I became a parent.

You could say I'm a bit of a worrier, my husband would call me a pessimist. When I found out I was pregnant, you can just imagine how my worries would have doubled. It's funny though, as much as i worry, I was very much "go-with-the-flow" throughout my pregnancy. Anyway, I worried about all sorts of things once I became pregnant, one of these was how the relationship with my Husband would change but mostly though, I worried that our baby would consume our lives to the point where we might lose our "closeness" and the connection we had.

Basically, I didn't know what to expect and it made me nervous. I'd heard that having a baby changed your life and your relationship as a couple no matter what. I know this to be true now but I didn't quite expect our relationship to be changed in the way that it has.

In all honesty though, it's changed for the better. When your Wife becomes a Mother or your Husband becomes a Father you begin to see them in a whole different light. You see how strong and capable they are. You watch them fall in love and easily fill the role of a parent. 

I always knew my Husband would be a great Dad. He was just that type of person - kind, caring, great with kids and he always looked after me. I felt safe. So, when I gave birth to our child the traits I already adored in my Husband strengthened and became even more obvious. 

You don't always notice it when it's right in front of you but when you go through a trauma together (if you've read my birth story you would see it didn't go according to plan) you begin to appreciate just how capable and strong they are. Following my c-section I had to rely on him to pretty much do everything while I recovered. From the nappy changes, to getting her up for me to feed her in the night, to bathing and everything else in between.

When I watch them together I have an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. To see how much he loves and cares for Ella just re-enforces how lucky I am to have someone that cares so much for both of us. Someone that is willing to do anything and everything to make sure we are taken care of.

So yes, becoming a parent has changed our relationship but it's changed it for the better. We are much stronger because of what we've gone through and closer than ever. I'm not saying our relationship is perfect, of course we still have the occasional disagreement and there are times when he drives me nuts just as I'm sure I drive him nuts. However, i've learnt to appreciate him and our relationship even more than i already did and i have become so thankful that he chose me.

A piece of advice, pick and choose your battles and learn to appreciate the little things.

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